New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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