DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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