Your dad touched me again.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
