We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
