I think my fart just growled at me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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