Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize