and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
