I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
