also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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