Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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