I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the day after is always just damage control
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
