He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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