I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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