brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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