Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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