I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
