I murdered the dance floor call the cops
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
