Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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