Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
