hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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