My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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