What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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