i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
