Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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