So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
