uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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