Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
