She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
