I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
