I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
