DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
