I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize