can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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