FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
