Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
