After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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