yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
