We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
