So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
