Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize