You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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