You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
