Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
