Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
