I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
