Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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