I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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