I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize