She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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