Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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