you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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