the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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