I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
God, I missed his penis.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
