that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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