I want to have your abortion
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize