3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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