so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
