he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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