? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
