Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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