You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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