You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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