I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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