And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
