I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
