She said her name was "party"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
