id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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