when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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