I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
